Crazy Person Of The Week Goes To Anne Kadet Who Ate Dog Food For 6 Days

annekadet

We’re just going to jump ahead to Day Six in this lady’s blog…

I Did It: 6 Days of Eating Dog Food

By Anne Z

DAY SIX

I have a nice routine going. Kibble for breakfast, chicken bisque for lunch, chicken and beef stew for dinner. The canned food is so delicious, I don’t feel deprived. My digestion is fine; my energy level is through the roof. And is it just my imagination, or do I have brighter eyes and whiter teeth?

But this setup is hardly ideal. A can of Simply Nourish costs $2.39 and has just 200 calories. It’s more expensive than going paleo. And then there’s the social aspect. I’ve avoided restaurant meals all week by scheduling coffee dates. But Saturday evening, I’m walking through SoHo with a pal when I realize I’m starving for dinner. He suggests we stop by the deli for a can of Alpo. I politely decline. 

Surprise! It tastes like meatloaf. I could serve this at a dinner party and no one would blink.

By the time I get home, I’m finally hungry enough to try the Freshpet. Inside its plastic tube, the pink paté, flecked with carrots and peas, looks a bit like olive loaf. I cut a few slices and fry them up in a pan. Surprise! It tastes like meatloaf. I could serve this at a dinner party and no one would blink. Alas, it’s also on the pricey side. At $5 a pound, I might as well buy real chicken. But maybe it’s worth it. Freshpet, after all, isn’t just chicken. It has vegetables and brown rice, not to mention vitamins and fatty acids “for healthy digestion and a shiny coat.” Like most dog foods, it’s designed to be a complete, all-in-one diet. If the goal is convenient nutrition, what’s the harm? 

I discuss my idea with Dr. Angele Thompson, chair of the Pet Food Institute’s Nutrition Task Force and president of Thompson PetTech, a pet food nutrition consulting firm. She puts the kibosh on my idea. 

Dogs and humans evolved together, says Thompson, and unlike other species, both people and canines can survive, if not thrive, on a wide variety of diets. But when it comes to optimal nutrition, our needs are different. Dogs make their own vitamin C. Humans do not. Dogs and people require different amino acids. Humans have a more efficient metabolism.

And just because a dog will happily eat something, that’s no indication that it’s fit for human consumption. “Why the heck would a dog, within two weeks, eat two jars of petroleum jelly?” she says. “I certainly wouldn’t do that. But my dog did.” 

The last day of dog food week is a blur of kibble, canned and Freshpet. Monday morning, I weigh in. I’ve lost nearly 2 pounds. I get the results of a blood test back from my health clinic. My blood sugar level has dropped to the ultralow end of the ideal range — even better than when I was eating paleo.

I’m excited to go back to eating people food. But if I were broke? I’d choose to live on kibble over Kraft dinner or ramen noodles. Surely, an all-in-one, high-end dog food is more nutritious than a diet of white flour and fat? 

No one else agrees.

“Dog food,” says Thompson, “is designed for dogs.”

I just feel like Anne’s missing the point here.. humans who try to justify eating dog food morning, noon, and night for extended periods of time are absolutely insane. Tell me Anne doesn’t sound like a crazy person, “The canned food is so delicious, I don’t feel deprived. My digestion is fine; my energy level is through the roof. And is it just my imagination, or do I have brighter eyes and whiter teeth?” Holy shit, Anne, pull yourself together, there’s literally nothing about dog food that is making you teeth whiter.   

The last day of dog food week is a blur of kibble, canned and Freshpet.” And how about her last day on dog food, what a BLUR! What a wild ride of dog food sloppy joes and milkbone snacks, you fucking psychopath.

I think Anne may have just been through a bad break up maybe… Stress eating, weird cravings.. dog food sandwiches with hearty dill pickles..

crazy lady

 

Everyone clap it out for Anne, she did it! She ate dog food for a week! Unbelievable, Anne, you did it! 

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