So Aziz Ansari And I Are Just As Embarrassing When It Comes To Texting Girls

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HuffPost – Celebrities, they’re just like us — because they too use modern technology to send painfully embarrassing text messages.

Aziz Ansari stopped by “The Howard Stern Show” on Monday and told the story of how he met Blake Lively, and the awkward text correspondence that followed.

Ansari told Stern that Lively waved to him at an event — “I thought surely she was waving to someone behind me” — and that they bonded over their love of food before eventually exchanging phone numbers.

The comedian then whipped out his phone and began reading the saved text messages on air, dating back to April 2011.

“Hey, it’s Aziz. The Animal dinners are over now unfortunately, but I will show you photos from when I went. It was very tasty. Are you going to the Met Ball?”

*no response*

[Night of the Met Ball] “Hey, it’s Aziz. Please tell Karl [Lagerfeld] he needs to call me, it’s been too long since we bro’d out.”

*no response*

[A few hours later] “I’m going to the Boom Boom Room for that afterparty. Hopefully this is your number? Either way, good seeing you.”

“And that’s just so sad, that I’m questioning the technology,” Ansari said.

Finally, Lively answered: “Hey, maybe I’ll see you. So weird, Karl was just saying how bummed he was to miss you.”

[The following day, Ansari texted her again] “I feel so bad you had to fly to North Carolina after that party. It must’ve been rough. Karl and I partied at Boom Boom until 7 a.m. Got tacos the next day after and just had a beautiful spa day. Next time we are in the same city, let’s eat delicious food.”

After she didn’t respond to that last text, you’d think Ansari would have gotten the hint. But nope. This last text is probably the most painful of all:

“The last message I sent her — and I don’t know why I sent this — is Dec. 17, 2011, and I just write, ‘Happy Holidays!’ and then there’s no response,” he laughed.

Of course, the “Parks and Recreation” star had to give this cringeworthy story the ending it deserved, and texted Lively while on-air:

“Read these messages on Howard. Hope that’s cool. Doubt you’ll respond to this.”

Don’t feel bad if she doesn’t respond this time around, Aziz. She’s probably a littlebusy, considering she announced her pregnancy yesterday.

 

Well, it’s good to know that Aziz and I are on the same level when it comes to texting girls. Like have fun trying to get me to take a hint, right Aziz? Quadruple texting shouldn’t be embarrassing, it should be considered relentless persistence.

The fact that he was texting Blake Lively is mind blowing. She is out of his league times a million. There’s no way he gets her even if they both really like food, and have like two things in common. I think it’s just a testament to his confidence, if you’re Aziz and you’re texting Blake Lively, you’ve got balls of steel. I actually love it. I think she’s stupid not to text back, the guy’s funny, definitely should have given him one date for his efforts.. and what kind of a savage doesn’t respond to a “Happy Holidays!” text? I’ll wish me ex-girlfriends a happy birthday, even the ones I strongly dislike.. it’s just kind of procedural.

Here’s the thing though, I’m almost positive I could land Blake if I was a celebrity.. even a B-list celeb.. put me in a room with her for a few minutes.. I’ll get the job done.. relentless persistence.

Oh.. and what a fucking couple huh?

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I don’t even know who have more of a crush on.. if that makes me sound gay then so be it.. whatever #ManCrushTuesday

 

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