Sleeping Yankees Fan Sues ESPN For $10 Million Buckaroos

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A New York man who was caught sleeping at a recent Yankees game against the Red Sox on ESPN is filing a $10 million defamation suit against broadcasters Dan Shulman and John Kruk for their “avalanche of disparaging words,” according to the New York Post.

Andrew Robert Rector admitted that he “briefly slept” while in attending the April 13 game between the A.L. East rivals, and when ESPN cameras caught him sleeping during the fourth inning, the Sunday Night Baseball announcers launched into what he described as an “unending verbal crusade” against him, with their “vituperative utterances” redistributed on the MLB website the following day. 

According to the report, Rector’s suit was riddled with typos and improper grammar, claiming the broadcasters insinuated that he “is a fatty cow that need two seats at a time” and “is a confused individual that neither understands nor knows anything about history or the meaning of rivalry between Red Sox and Yankees.”

ESPN, MLB and the Yankees are named as defendants in the suit.

Hate to break it to you, you fat stupid sleeping man, but if you smell like a dumb fatty cow, and you look like a dumb fatty cow.. chances are you probably are a dumb fatty cow. I mean come on it’s April at Yankee Stadium, the Yanks are playing the Sox, an age old, hot blooded rivalry.. and you’re in a deep slumber??

Kruk never called you a “fatty cow that need two seats at a time” that would just be rude and inappropriate, and we all would have heard about it.. and Kruky would have had to publicly apologize to the entire fat community… which yikes, he’s a part of.. but now that you mention it.. you are kind of taking up 2 seats bro.. kind of extending to 3 seats.. and if I know anything about Kruk, he calls ’em like he sees ’em.

The real question that I have is.. where do these people come up with the amount they want to sue for? Like $10 Million.. I feel like that’s just a bit outrageous.. some people will say “go big or go home” and generally I’m on board when ever I hear that.. but in this case.. I don’t know.. $10 million gets you laughed out of court.. $500,000 or less gets you a quick settlement.. ESPN wouldn’t even bother showing up to court, just cutting you checks so you’ll stop bothering them for nothing. 

Guy’s probably from Jersey or something.

PS – Like this chick suing Instagram for $500,000,000..

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where in the fuck does that number come from???

I’m gonna watch these cases closely.. and maybe just start suing people for bullshit reasons.. sounds like there’s some monetary potential..