Brazil Soccer WCup Ghana US

So, the USMNT just fucking destroyed Ghana, it was a lot closer than that, but for all intents and purposes, we dominated the shit out of them. Clint Dempsey scored the fastest goal for an American in the history of the World Cup… and the 5th fastest ever. 29 seconds into the game. Unreal.

But here’s the fucking deal.. Jurgen Klinsmann is one cold calculated son of a bitch..


Saw on Barstool that Pres said that coaches should be from the country that they’re coaching.. and I agree.. It makes it weird if you have Japan playing the Ivory Coast.. and you have two coaches from France and Italy (Well I guess the late great John Candymon coached the Jamaican Bobsled team.. and I was more than alright with that).

But to be honest, I don’t really have a problem with this German Klinsmann.. he’s been playing straight mind games. Would I want a Herb Brooks type in there? Yeah, sure.. Maybe someone to say, “Hi, we’re the US Men’s National Team, we’re fierce competitors from a land abundant with hope and opportunity, and we will give this our all and win the World Cup.”? Yes, hell yes, I would.

But I’ll take a mind games playing German, who’s plan is to say we have a 0.00% chance of winning, and then just flat out hustle the entire world, take no prisoners! If I know anything about the Germans, it’s that they go for the fucking throat.. there’s no mercy, they will rip your heart out, and they will do it with a straight face.. So yes, a cold calculated killer at the helm.. I’ll take that.

And to think people were like “Woah.. He left Landon Donovan off the roster.. this guy’s a hardo psychopath..” Well, Donovan played half a season, and not a very good one.. He’s getting old.. and if there’s one thing that you need in order to win the World Cup, it’s probably young, able bodied warriors.. not washed up soccer legends.. I think Klinsmann’s “It’s not about your resume, it’s about what you’re doing now” approach to deciding who made the cut is actually a smart, forward thinking approach.

Plus, Dempsey’s a great leader, I mean he scored the 5th quickest goal in World Cup history tonight.. Not a big deal.. So whatever Klinsmann did… it’s working. USA, USA, USA. BRING ON PORTUGAL! BRING ON THE REAL COMPETITION! USA SO HOT RIGHT NOW, USA!

And I mean, come on, coach murders push-ups.. murders them..

klinsmann pushups

I don’t want to speculate.. but I’m sure if you could hear this picture, you’d hear Klinsmann saying “a thousand one, a thousand two..” in broken German-English.

USA 1-0 baby!!