This US Map With Each States Top Googled Term Is The Funniest Thing I’ve Seen All Day


So this map just shows one of the top 5-10 most searched terms for each state soo.. I’m going to break it down a little.. Here are the states that use Google the best…

ALASKA: Adult Friend Finder / AR-15 / Bestiality / Bird Watching / Couch Surfing / Mail Order Bride / Pull Tabs / Sarah Palin

You know what I’m not actually concerned about the guns, mail order brides or animal banging.. I get curious too.. I’m actually more concerned with the “pull tabs” search.. Why would you ever need to search for “pull tabs”?

ARIZONA: Conjugal Visits / Hippies / Scorpion Sting / How are babies made?

Arizona just wants to know how babies are made.. Come back from a conjugal visit, and maybe you’re wondering “Is that how babies are made?” You know, sometimes I ask myself the same question.. “Sam, how are babies made?.. Because, seriously, how are they made?

ARKANSAS: Atkins Diet / End of Days / Lap Band Surgery / Learn to Read / Walmart Jobs

Arkansas just wants to learn how to read.. If you can type that into google, I’d say you’re reading at at least a second grade level.. And that, Arkansas, is good enough for me.

SOUTH DAKOTA: Nickelback

South Dakota would love Nickleback.. Just seems like the kind of music they’d like.

TEXAS: Are dinosaurs real? / Are zombies real? / The Bill of Rights / Boogers / Calf Implants / Can dogs talk? / Chupacrabra / Curves International (company) / Do I have herpes? / Does beer make you fat? / Government Mind Control / How to cook meth? / How to sell your soul to the Devil? / Justin Bieber (singer) / Krunk / Meth Recipes / Porn / Purple Drank / Rodeo / Snake Bites / Tacos

TEXAS COMING IN HOTT too hottt to handle.. Alright I just highlighted the good ones

I don’t even know where to start with Texas, so many great questions.. Really trying to nail the whole crank making process, can’t hate the hustle there.. And they obviously don’t know about Web MD.. It might tell you that you have ball cancer, but at least you won’t have to google “do I have herpes?”

MICHIGAN: Knock-Knock Jokes / Little Caesars / Omelette / Taco Bell / Topless Bar / Where do babies come from?

Michigan’s in the same boat as Arizona.. Where do babies come from? Where do they come from??

VERMONT: Kale Recipe / Annie Lennox (musician) / “The Daily Show” (TV show) / Gwar (band) / Poetry / Phish (band) / LSD / Stephen Colbert

So Vermont, it hurts! Can’t get more hippy dippy than Vermont.

MASSACHUSETTS: Canadian Men / Eyebrow Waxing / George Costanza / Hangover Cure / Muppets / PCP / Tinder / Yoga

What the fuck, guys?? Canadian Men? We’re better than that. The only way I can explain the Canadian men thing is that we like to make fun of the Canadians.. So why not do a little research, right? No you’re enemy, know who you’re fucking with.

DELAWARE: Delaware, Joe Biden, What Is Delaware?

Delaware doesn’t even know what or where it is? So fucking lost.

NEW JERSEY: Bon Jovi / Britney Spears / Cure for Baldness / Girdles / New Jersey Jokes / Pantaloons / Six Pack Abs / Teletubbies / Thumb Wrestling

The Tony Toughnut State, thumb wrestling, ripping abs, acquiring pantaloons.. Sometimes New Jersey seems like it’s just a Twilight Zone state.. It just doesn’t seem like a real state.. Pantaloons?