SNQB Quickie: The One and Only Mock Draft You Need
A mere four days away now, the 2014 NFL Draft is looming ominously over the football world like brewing storm, and we’re not quite sure how hectic this one is going to get. The Draft is a special time of the NFL’s year-round relevancy, because it’s the only time when the league’s worst teams are actually the most interesting to follow. Teams like the Jaguars and Browns, who will be forgotten when the season begins, get to be the stars of the show for once as they get to claim the draft’s biggest names for themselves.
As always, the time between Free Agency in early March and the Draft in late April (or in this year’s case, early May) spits out millions of mock drafts by “experts” of all the major sporting news networks. Most of these mock drafts will end up being completely wrong, not because these experts don’t what they’re talking about (unless their name is Merril Hoge), but because it’s pretty much impossible for one guy to know every team’s needs well enough to be able to imagine their draft boards accurately.
Knowing this, a genius at the LA Times by the name of Sam Farmer came up with the idea of hosting a mock draft where each team’s pick is submitted by a beat writer (AKA reporter) for that team. Brilliant, really, because as Times’ article says itself, who knows each team better than a guy whose job it is to study that team every day? Who knew that the city without an NFL team would produce one of the most useful pieces of NFL journalism?
So without further adieu, I present you with the LA Times’ “Reporters Make Selections” Mock Draft. As a side note, I’d like to point out that this mock draft looks very different from the generic mold, which is because it’s a more accurate mock process. Notice I say process rather than result, because while this mock draft may not be at all actually goes down this Thursday, it manages to ‘predict the unpredictability’ so to say, because if one thing about the draft is certain, it’s that it will not turn out how you thought.
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Above photo from ESPN
29. New England (Karen Guregian, Boston Herald)
DT RaShede Hageman, Minnesota Any QB or Wideout Weapon, just for excitement’s sake — “If they don’t trade the pick, the Patriots will go with the best available defensive lineman Gunslinging playboy to back Brady up in the next coming years, and in this scenario that’s HagemanJohnny Fucking Football cuz they’ll probably trade up to get him.”
Who’s Karen Guregian?