Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis Competition Is Back! (NSFW Language/Topic)

20140417-161454.jpg

HUFFPOST-

It’s time, once again, to make the little things count.

The “Smallest Penis Contest,” a nutty competition which debuted last year, will return to Brooklyn’s Kings County Bar on June 14.

Per a media release, contestants will be judged in multiple categories, including “poise in both evening wear and bathing wear.” In addition to a cash prize (which can optionally be donated to charity), a “wee crown and scepter” will be awarded to the less-endowed man best exhibiting “extraordinary heart, talent, and chutzpa.”

In an interview with The Huffington Post, last year’s winner, Nicholas Gilronan, described the competition as “laid back, fun, casual,” comparing it to just another “fun time on a Saturday afternoon.”

Last year, event promoters told HuffPost the pageant is all about empowering the little guys, describing it as a competition “for confident people with a sense of humor.” For the 2014 contest, organizers have been chasing after Miley Cyrus as a judge, but as this isn’t a twerking contest, we aren’t holding our breath.

Those interested in competing or serving as a judge must be over 21, and have been asked to email SPB.Brooklyn@gmail.com for further details.

I can’t believe it’s this time of the year again, flowers are blooming, the masses are wearing T-Shirts and sandals again, weather’s great for the most part, baseball’s back, penis contests are in full force, little fun in the sun.

This was one of the funniest events I had ever heard of when it first hit the scene last year.. hands down.. everything from the different stages of competition to the tiny crown and scepter. I was thinking about how bad I wish I could compete.. but a higher power fucked me blessed me with a terribly average bone piece. Terribly average. So no Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis fun for me. Ho hum.. I’m over it. No I’m not.

Anyway.. if you think about it, it must suck to lose this competition. Like you’re not even good at having a small piece.. you’re literally probably useless in the genitalia department. Just think about how many babes want the crowned victor. He’s a winner, a champion, he’s the top of his class, he’s an expert in his field. #winning. Good luck gentlemen on your respective quests for what I’m renaming “The Bucky Larson: Small Cock, Huge Heart Award”

20140417-155301.jpg

Advertisements