Things American Travelers Know All Too Well

So I’ve been traveling for about a month now.. it’s been one hell of an experience.. but aside from traveling couch to couch and town to town like a peasant vagabond, I’ve also been compiling a list of things the american traveler knows all to well when it comes to traveling Europe. I’ve noticed a popular statement/question combo is “Yeah we should totally go to _____ , how much is a bottle of _____ there?”

As an american traveler,

1. You know the currency exchange rate in any given European country.. Eastern Europe is the cheapest (apparently)

2. You know that the Euro is miserable, but British Sterling is a nightmare. Fuck you euro.

3. They only have tall boy cans.. and no Bud Light or Natty Ice.

4. You know anything north of 5 euro is too expensive for a pint, 3 euro is a fucking deal.. and we won’t even talk about London’s prices.

5. You know you’d be willing to sleep on a hard floor instead of a 15 euro hostel bed.

6. You know that German backpackers in their mid 20s are the loudest people between 2am and 4am.

7. You know that there are 4 places to do your food shopping: Tesco, Aldi, Sainsbury’s, and the Spars.

8. A baguette shouldn’t cost more then 1 pound / 1 euro

9. There’s no such thing as tipping, which is a godsend.

10. You know how to eat cheap.. I mean seriously cheap.. disgustingly cheap.

11. “Splurging” is spending 9 euro on a meal.

12. A full English/Irish Breakfast is fucking phenomenal.

13. You can’t say no when offered something (I don’t think I’ve said no to tea yet.. I never drink tea) In Ireland, you’ll be offered something 3 times.. by the third time they’ll mock you for being “polite” and get whatever it is for you anyway.

14. Getting to and from any airport is an expensive hassle. The “easy bus” from London Gatwick airport took an hour and a half and dropped me 5 miles outside of Central London.

15. You’ll meet at least one Australian every where you go.

16. Knowing Spanish comes in handy every where you go.

17. Double decker busses… are every where.

18. A night out consists of getting trashed on a cheap bottle of something and buying one drink at the bars.

(like if Stop and Shop had a brand of Vodka)

19. If you’re at a really nice bar, you high five when a beer is under $10USD


20. Wifi is a commodity as good as gold and hard to come by. And when you do have it, it’s shitty.