Hey, You Know What I Realized Today? It’s 2014 And We Still Don’t Have A Way To Send Food Digitally


What’s going on science? What’ve you been up too? Still trying to figure out the whole “Global Warming” thing..? Let’s be honest.. is it really even a thing? Trying to find renewable energy sources? Umm, yeah, and how’s that going? Guy’s it’s 2014. I’m pretty sure we can halt major projects and research programs for like a week or two, and focus on the more important things like digital food teleportation.. more like digital food sharing.

I’m a little more than upset that it’s 2014 and we don’t have hover crafts and flying cars, let alone the fact that we aren’t yet at the point where we can digitally transport food. It’s fucking bogus. There needs to be some sort of a summit in Sweden or something discussing these issues, and the future of the Science world as we know it.

I remember joking around with my nana in probably.. I don’t know.. 1998.. about how we wish we could send each other what we were eating. I told her I was having a turkey sandwich with tomatoes, goat cheese and arugula (I know, such a mature palate) and she’d say “mmm send it to me through the phone, I’m hungry like a hippo.” Well that was 1998.. 16 years ago.. when you joke about something like that, chances are, in the world we’re living in today, that shit becomes a realty in a matter of years.

I’m sure there were people just years before the iPhone came around, who were like, “Oh yeah (laughs) let me just listen to music on my phone … don’t be so fucking stupid.” Boom a few years later the iPhone. Or people before the internet who wanted a world where they didn’t have to crank it to magazines.. a world where you could send words magically through the air, and talk face to face with a person 1,000 miles away. We’ve come so far.. but yet.. I can’t eat food that I see on people’s Facebooks and Instagrams through my screen? I thought this was America. I thought we lived in modern society, a progressive world constantly moving forward. Are we not?

I’m passionate about this issue.. because, and I know you feel the same way, I am just so tired of see pictures of oysters and other food on Facebook, while not being able to partake in any of it.. I can’t even stand it. Meanwhile, here I am in Ireland eating baguette and ham morning, noon and night, like it’s the fucking potato famine. I thought Obama was going to bring “Change we can believe in”? Is he not? This is a call to science, do the right thing.