Wanna Steal That $1 Billion From Old Man Buffett? Here’s How.. 5 Different Ways To Fill Out Your Bracket


I was trying to find a picture for the post so I searched “March Madness Babes” and this pic was the best I could find.. I wanted to have some babes on there, you know, to catch the eye.. and this was the best I could find.. unimpressed.

First of all.. you kind of have to leave it up to chance. If you think to hard it will literally be impossible for you to win.. fuck the 1 in 9 quintillion (actual odds).. I’m talking impossible… you think too hard 0% chance.

So here are some fun ways to approach your bracket:

1) Pick the team based on which mascot you think would win in a fight.

Example: #8 Gonzaga Vs. #9 Oklahoma State = Bulldog Vs. Cowboy.. Cowboys would straight up murder a bulldog.. just shoot the hell out of it.

This approach makes those 8 vs. 9 seed games a lot easier to pick.


1) If the two teams have the same mascot, game goes to the higher seed.

Example: #1 Arizona Wildcats Vs. #16 Weber State Wildcats.. Arizona moves on.. obviously.

2) Devils become a human with a shotgun.

Example: #3 Duke Vs. #14 Mercer = human with shotgun Vs. bear.. Human with shotgun obviously takes this one.

2) Pick the team with the better uniform.

This one is ok.. some chick did it a few years ago and she did pretty well. The only thing is this one is based on how you feel about the unis.. If you have the fashion sense of a fucking dick head, this isn’t the one for you.

3) Pick games based on where you’d rather live..

I just heard this one a few days ago.. I personally think it’s stupid but it really does leave it up to chance.. and we determined that leaving it up to chance is way better than over-evaluating. That means any team from Iowa, either of the Dakotas, Oklahoma, or Utah can pretty much call it quits.

It also has Upset City written all over it. Very skeptical of this approach.

4) Copy Dick Vitale’s bracket

He’s old man crazy.. If anyone gets a perfect bracket, it’s going to be him.

5) Listen to Mr. Madness

He’s blogging tomorrow morning, and I can’t fucking wait!