“8 Things She Secretly Loves” By James Michael Sama.. Then 8 Things I Secretly Love

8 Things She Secretly Loves by James Michael Sama

Here are eight things that she secretly loves.


1. Good morning texts.

A good morning text first thing doesn’t just say “good morning” – it says “you’re the first person I thought of when I woke up today.”

For over a year I have sent one of these to my girlfriend literally every single day without missing one. Small romantic acts aren’t just for the “honeymoon phase” of your relationship. Consistency is key.

Hint: This includes goodnight texts, too.

I do this thing where I deliriously dream text.. where I think I got up in the morning and texted.. but in reality I didn’t. It’s kind of the thought that matters right? “Oh.. hunny, I thought I texted you this morning.. good afternoon ;)” 

2. Play with her hair if you’re laying together on the couch or in bed.

Just do it. Trust me.

Is it greedy and insensitive if I play with her hair expecting my hair to be played with in exchange.. I kind of feel like this is a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” scenario.. oh it is. 

3. Remember details.

When you remember small details about your conversations, whether it be her usual coffee order or when she’s going out for girls’ night, it will let her know that you really pay attention and hear her when she talks.

Plus, it will give you gift ideas for future occasions if you know what she loves.

Hint: Putting your phone down helps with this one.

I have the memory of a steel trap, nothing gets out.. just kidding I have the memory of a 5 year old child with attention deficit hyperactive disorder.. undiagnosed I think.   


4. Watch her favorite TV show or movie with her.

This will show her that you are willing to share in what she enjoys even if it’s not your first choice. Plus, you might find something new that you like without expecting it. Win/win.

I actually can’t tell you how much Pretty Little Liars I’ve watched.. or Scandal.. too much, too much. Yeah you’re right it’s a win/win.. haha..haha.. ha.

5. Put your hand on the small of her back when introducing her to someone.

This is something I read a long time ago and it stuck with me for some reason. This is a passive sign of affection and isn’t inappropriate in a public setting, but it bonds the two of you together and helps her feel more comfortable.

I’m great at this.

6. When you keep your promises.

If you want her trust, you need to deserve it. A woman will instantly start losing faith in you the second you start to break your word, even if it’s something small like if you’re going to call her after work.

Integrity is hard to find these days, for both men and women. She won’t believe you if you tell her you’re different, you need to show her.

I actually found a loop-hole around the whole promise game… Don’t make promises. When you do something you know she wants to do, without promising her anything, she’ll be pleasantly surprised. I could also be very naive.


7. When you’re honest with her.

Of course, honesty has to be delivered with tact and kindness. Nobody wants to be hurt, but they don’t want to be lied to either. If you’re always honest, she will know that you’re trustworthy and that you respect her enough to be straightforward with her.

The last thing you want is her doubting everything you say because you once lied to her.

Ok now you’re just making me feel bad, James.

8. When you’re funny.

If you want to keep a woman’s attention, manners are important. Good looks are a bonus, but having humor is a must. Don’t take my word for it, Stanford University says women genetically prefer funny men.

Got this one 100% covered.

Ok now it’s my turn.. These are the 8 Things That I Secretly Love (and I’ll try to speak for all men)

1. Not touching my phone

There’s a lot of really “important” things on my phone.. I am my phones keeper.. so don’t accuse me of “cheating” every time I take my phone with me to grab something in the kitchen.. or if I bring my phone with me to the bathroom.

2. Body Tickles / Playing with my hair

I will pur to body tickles.. and if you pet my hair the right way I’ll fall asleep within minutes.. also house trained

3. Not having labels

I know, “You’re so immature.. you just want the illusion that you’re free.” Yes, exactly I will be happy to let you lock me down, just as long as I can pretend to be free. That’s all we want.. the illusion.

4. A nice latte

“Oh I think you forgot your Uggs and yoga pants, because lattes are for women.” That’s why I secretly love them.. just like I secretly love margaritas.

5. Being Little Spoon

Being big spoon sucks dick.. all I get is a mouth full of hair, and generally I have to find someway to prop myself up a little.. I know men are big spoons it’s science, it’ll always be that way. But not only do I think being little spoon is hilarious, it’s also nice to be held. “Oh you’re so soft, you sound lonely, devoid of human contact.” Whatever.

6. Not nagging

Just don’t nag, I literally will do the opposite of what you are nagging me to do.

7. When you ask me how my day was

I honestly don’t care, just fucking respect me.

8. When a girl wears only a button down and nothing else

So hot. 

Bonus Things That I Love

Bonus 1. White Jeans

Bonus 2. Aztec Leggings

Anything close to this: 


Bonus 3. The space between the thighs

thigh gap

Bonus 4. Girls that dress like their in the 80s


Bonus 5. Mom jeans (when done right)

mom jeans

Bonus 6. When you wear neon to the gym