This Is So Yesterday’s News But I Never Realized The Sochi Nightmare Bear Even Existed

nightmarebear nightmarebear2 nightmarebear3

Woah. No. Nobody signed up for this.  First of all how did Nightmare Bear slip by me? I don’t know.  I thought Sochi was done throwing curveballs at us.. and then this rapey bear hits the slopes..

That smile in the first picture is so “Welcome to Russia” so unsettling.. it’s like the stuffed animal in the corner of the room that get’s closer to you every time you look at it.. or a step closer with every lightning flash.. horrifying.  Claps it out to Putin on this one.. he’s undoubtedly behind this.. he’s king of the intangibles.. like “Oh I know how to better our chances at winning gold, we’ll just fuck with all the hotel rooms in Sochi, say they’re under construction.. dye our water, tell everyone it’s dangerous.. oh and we’ll throw a creepy bear at them.. that’ll throw foreign athletes off.. they’ll always be looking around for Nightmare Bear.. that will distract them.” Anything to win.

Nightmare Bear should’ve taken that arrow to the head, not Snowflake.