Surfer Bro Finds Out What Happens To You When You Cut Another Surfer Bro Off While Shredding Gnar


HUFFPOST – Mark Morlock almost lost his eye after allegedly being attacked by an enraged surfer, according to reports from Australia’s Courier-Mail.

Morlock, 41, was surfing the popular Australian surf break Snapper Rocks last Tuesday when he was approached by a man who he had accidentally cut off while surfing about five months earlier. According to Morlock, the attacker approached him from behind and asked if he remembered who he was.

“I said, ‘Yeah I remember you, what do you want?’” Morlock recalled. “Then he let his board go from between his legs, straight into my face. He said, ‘You’re not laughing now, are you mate?'”

The surfboard struck Morlock in his eye, leaving it severely damaged. Morlock was able to make his way back to shore, where he received first-aid from a lifeguard.

“Within six seconds of him announcing his presence, he’d done this horrible trick that only a surfer knows, but one I thought would never happen to me,” Morlock said of the attack. “It was the most brutal, cowardly thing I’ve ever seen.

But the altercation didn’t end there. Morlock said that while he waited to be taken to a hospital, the aggressive surfer approached him again, egging him on to continue the fight. “He was hiding in some bushes and came bolting down the stairs wanting to carry it on with my eye almost hanging out of my head,” Morlock said.

Morlock was eventually taken to Gold Coast University Hospital, where he went through 12 hours of microsurgery. He will reportedly not lose sight in the damaged eye.

As one of Australia’s most crowded surf breaks, Snapper Rocks is no stranger to this type of aggressive behavior in the lineup — also known as “surf rage.” In early 2012, Australian police began to patrol popular surf breaks — including Snapper Rocks — in order to prevent altercations between surfers.

Morlock does not plan to press charges against his attacker, although it is believed that “a horrified witness” has reported the incident.

Morlock told Perth Now News that he only wants the man who stabbed him to seek help for anger-management issues.

Omg.  So not chill, bro.  So not chill of you.  I cut him off by accident 5 months ago, and he stabs me with his surfbord??!!  You know what? I think I hate this Morlock guy.  Maybe you shouldn’t snake people’s waves Mark.  Like wait it was honestly “the most brutal and cowardly thing you’ve ever seen”? You, sir, sound like a drama queen.

Sounds to me like you shredded gnar right in front of him while he was also shredding gnar.  Sounds like you found out what happens when you’re not paying attention, when you just steal someone’s wave, when you pull the mojo right out from under this guy, and just ride it in.

So here’s what happens when you cut off a fellow surfer:

– He tracks you down over the course of the next couple of months, establishes that your a huge pussy that can easily be caught off guard because you don’t pay attention to your surroundings

– He sneaks up behind you when you least expect it

– He does some “horrible” trick that only surfers know, which if I have my facts right, is when they let their board slip between their legs and essentially fire it right at your face..

– Then he hides out in the brush on shore and tries to fight you.

You fucking cut him off, mate.  I’m honestly surprised he didn’t wait for you to come to shore, maybe lure you in with a free chill pair of rainbow flip-flops, maybe a Pacsun tank with a “free” sign next to it, then just beat the shit out of you with the fin on the bottom of his board.. maybe feed you to the sharks.  I’d count my blessings Morlock.  Thank god this guy didn’t just shoot you point blank out on the water and then just paddle off to sea.. because if “surf rage” is as real as it seems, anything was possible.

P.S. I’m so fucking naive.. I’m 85% positive that Sean Penn is behind this one, I never even considered the possibility..


Just surf rage written all over this guy..