Oh So We’re Upset That Subway Uses A Chemical Additive In Their Bread That Makes It More Delicious.. I Don’t Think So

The internet was freaking out about this whole “Subway uses this chemical that is also used to make yoga mats, and shoe soles wah wah wah cry cry cry” Hey newsflash! Everything has some stupid chemical in it these days.. so don’t try to take away my 9 Grain Honey Oat, you fucks.  Oh wait.. you’re saying that this chemical is legal here in the states?  They legally can put this chemical in their products? The FDA allows this?  It actually makes the dough stretchier and more delicious? I’m in, 100% in.

Look, for me, I’m a new Subway fan.  I never thought I’d say that.. Jared’s always been a herb, Michael Phelps is a goon.. I’ve never been into Egg Whites..  and I was a ride or die local pizza shop for my subs, which I still am mostly. But Subway is quick, convenient, cheap and a great travel snack.  So when they come under fire, I’m going to back them.  Subway uses young sweatshop laborers to cut their meat? There’s probably a good reason.  Their ham is synthetic? That’s why it tastes so good.  I’m not saying any of that is true, but if it were.. I’d still back them.

So Vani “the Food Babe” Hari, you’ve made yourself a new enemy.  Vani, if people didn’t know, is the blogger chick responsible for starting the Subway petition (the one that has over 50,000 signatures now) and for calling out Subway.. well, if the bread starts to suck I know who I’m blaming.

As a side note, Vani, babe, I think I love you.  If I ever cross Indian off the ol’ list, I hope you can be a part of it, because you’re an actual babe, babe.

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Food Babe, you can get it.

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