My Friday Night Is So Filled With Plans And Girls And Fun Stuff… No.. No It Isn’t (UPDATE)
I’m not going to sugar coat it, I just ate two boxes of thin mints, I have no plans for tonight, I’m two coffees deep and I’m thinking about ordering a pizza. Ooo sad, ooo pathetic. Nope.
As for the thin mints, I was guilted into buying them today by a team of vicious girl scout mind ninjas. They corner you with affordable prices accompanied by a compelling sales pitch, might as well be reaching into your pockets pulling out the Washingtons. But here’s the deal thin mints don’t “count”. Like I could eat 6 boxes and not feel bad about myself, right? They’re so small, so “thin”.. I could totally eat like 2 more boxes and get away with it.
As for the pizza? I biked off at least a whole pizza’s worth of calories and fat yesterday at the gym, so we’re in the clear on that one.
But, I mean, not having plans for a Friday night kind of rocks my world. Like I don’t even know what to do.. my little brother’s downstairs with literally 30 of his friends just having a grand ol time with pizza and Doritos and soda and horror movies and girls, like what? What have I done wrong? I don’t want to look like a loser.. not to mention I don’t even feel comfortable taking a shit in my own home right now.. no man should have to feel like that! NO MAN! There’s your toilet and then there’s everyone elses, the only other toilet I feel comfortable with is any toilet at school.
It’s going to be a long lonely night folks, a lot of looking at myself in the mirror and second guessing myself.
TOILET WAS CLOGGED, mopping up an ocean in the basement.. a little excitement huh, what a shot of life!
And the phone breaks… tgif…