Guys If Justin Bieber Is Deported I Think I’ll Lose My Shit

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Deport Justin Bieber and revoke his green card.

We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society.”

Alright, I’m trying to contain my frustration right now.  I’m not letting my emotions get to me this time, not going to say anything stupid.. I’m going to stay calm, cool, and collected.  Very analytical.  But this deportation talk is straight fucking bullshit.  I’m half surprised Obama didn’t bring up this recent string of scandals in his State of the Union speech.  It was an area that needed to be addressed and just like a lot of other important topics, Obama didn’t touch it.  He didn’t push it like he should have, come up with a solution that we could all agree on.  DO YOUR FUCKING JOB,  MAN.

Let’s talk straight facts right now.. yes Bieber is bad.  But is he not good for America? The answer is: yes, he’s great for America.  He is a fountain of intrigue, his musical talents are on another level.. Beauty and a Beat? Jam.  Boyfriend? Jam.  He stuffs the best in the game.  Selena Gomez? Hot.  Diddy/DeSean Jackson’s ex? stuffed.  Do I hate the idea of him being stuck in Canada? Yes. I absolutely hate it.  I can’t stand Canada.  I’m just worried because I try to live vicariously through biebs, is he going to get enough pussy in Canada?  Enough party times? There aren’t answers for these questions.  He belongs in America, in NYC, in Miami, in LA, in all of our hearts.  And then I realize there’s a petition, a white house petition tod deport him??? and it has 100,000 signatures?? Then I realize they have a petition to keep him here?? and it only has 1,000+ signatures?? Wow.  I feel like if you’ve ever jammed to the biebs or said “Man I wish I was the biebs” or said “That Justin Bieber, he’s one hell of a kid, just trying to make it, living the dream” or laughed at his antics, or laughed at his fashion sense, then you need to sign this petition to keep him here.

Do it for Cody