Kimye’s Wedding Is Going To Be The Douchiest Affair Of 2014

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The second I read what Kris Jenner was saying about Kim and Kanye’s wedding, speculating that it won’t be a small event.. I knew that this wedding has the potential to be the douchiest, most pretentious, flashiest event of 2014 and maybe the douchiest event ever.  Look, Kanye rented out AT&T Park in San Fran to pop the question to Kim and was backed up by a 50 piece orchestra, all that just to pop the question.. just think of where this wedding will be and what it will look like. Here’s a list of places that popped into my mind:

1. The White House

Everyone is sucking Kanye’s dick lately.. wouldn’t be surprised if Obama was like “anything for you Yeezus, where would you like to do it? The rose garden..? Umm ok I think we can manage that.. oh and you want to spray paint ‘just Married’ on the Marine One Helicopter, and fly off into the sunset.. sure thing kanyeezy!”

2. The Vatican

On second thought.. not a chance, this Pope of ours means business.. he doesn’t waste his time on fuckboys.

3. The Louvre

Kanye and Kim probably think that they’re art in motion or something stupid like that.. plus Kanye’s friends love art.. he’ll probably have Jay-Z do his Pacasso Baby bullshit for the entire ceremony.  Oooooo much art. So culture.

4. Madison Square Garden

Not classy enough.

5. LeBron James’ House

You know LeBron is dying to be a part of this so he too can suck Kanye’s dick.. pretend to be illuminati.. and tweet pictures of the wedding captioned “Wedding in my backyard LOL” He’ll “check-in” on Facebook “LeBron James is at Kim and Kanye’s Wedding – Miami, FL”

But it looks like they want their vows done in the Palace of Versailles… wow.

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I don’t even know where to start.. between the “PLEEEASE MARRY MEEEE!!!” on the jumbotron and that stupid smirk.. just do less Kanye, do less.

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