Cosmopolitan – Breaking News: Men Masturbate Too Much
Does He Masturbate Too Much?
There’s breaking news in “guy world”: Many committed guys are treating themselves to a little too much one-handed fun, and it could leave both of you feeling less than satisfied in bed. To get the scoop, we talked to top sex experts and found out exactly why this is happening…and what you can do about it.
By Bethany Heitman
What the Hell Is Going On
“There are two current factors that are leading more and more men to develop masturbation dependencies, which is when someone masturbates so frequently that it interferes with a healthy sex life,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD (It’s a dude??), author of She Comes First. And rest assured, neither of them have anything to do with you.
“First, the bad economy is leaving a lot of guys without jobs, so they sit at home, bored, and start masturbating more often,” says Kerner. “And second, porn has become so accessible that guys can watch something new every day, so a compulsion grows.” There are actually serious consequences to all that whacking off: If he’s doing it too often, he may stop being able to climax with you. “A man’s hand can provide a lot more friction than a vagina, and if he’s compulsively masturbating, he may grow so used to that intense friction that anything less won’t do it for him,” says Kerner.
How to Get Him Unhooked
If you’ve noticed that your guy takes a long time to climax during sex or if he can’t finish at all, the only way to find out if excessive solo sex is the problem is to ask. “Tell him he’s seemed dissatisfied during sex and you want to make sure he’s enjoying himself,” says Kerner. Then mention that you read in Cosmo that masturbating too much can make it hard to orgasm. By bringing up that you read this article, you’ll let him know he’s not the only one doing it, which will make him more willing to talk about it.
Once you’ve gotten it out in the open, the best course of action is for him simply to stop cold turkey. Motivate him by explaining that sex is better for you when he’s able to finish and that you’re open to having sex with him more often. Hearing that his habit is getting in the way of your enjoyment should kick his ass into gear, because guys take pride in being able to please you. “If he is resistant, he may need to seek out the help of a therapist,” says certified sex therapist Annette Demby, who specializes in compulsive sexual behavior. Over time, he’ll get used to climaxing during sex again and be able to go back to masturbating, as long as he’s not doing so multiple times a day.
Cosmopolitan just breaking the news like you read about it! Men masturbate too much. I needed a psychologist to clear that up for me, and that psychologist is Ian Kerner, Phd. I guess I always thought three times a day was just me doing the bare minimum. it’s not my fault I need a sweet release before I go to bed, and right after I wake up.. and if daytime television isn’t that great I’ll probably go at it with natgeo on in the background. I’ll even shamefully masturbate while catching up on some sportscenter.. they’re two unrelated events that happen at the same time obviously, but it happens.
But stopping cold turkey. Come on Kerner… you’re a man, you’re supposed to understand men stuff. If a girl asked me to quit masturbating cold turkey, I’d probably march right to the bathroom and masturbate. This guy’s written “She Comes First” so it isn’t exactly hard to figure out which side he plays for. Guy knows nothing about men stuff.. like maybe he knows the science behind everything but he doesn’t actually understand it. I rarely want to do it, I need to do it.. and sometimes it’s just easier than having sex.. you can accomplish so much on your own, without worrying about how long you last, how good it was, and not to mention snuggling.. which is generally imminent. But it’s not like I shamefully hide my masturbating habits, the girls I see know what’s going on when they try to get to Youtube.com on my computer and end up staring down hardcore on Youjizz.com by accident.
I also have never had a problem in bed because of masturbating too much… alcohol on the other hand is the biggest threat here and in that case we can forecast a full boner by sunrise, anytime before that .