Big Fake Dicks Are Ruining Porn

In the last two weeks two porn subscriptions have fallen into my lap.. just ridiculous.. some might say life changing.. I thought I was going to have to weather dick enlarging advertisements for the rest of my porn viewing career, just huge dicks jumping through the screen at you, burning the retinas.  But before I knew it, Brazzers and PornPros saved the day.  A fucking dream come true, nothing compares.  Just pure fun.  Best chicks in the game, no advertising.. HD..? Sounds fantastic.  There’s just one problem though.  Big fake dicks.  They’re ruining porn. The producer who decided it was a great idea to fill big rubber dicks with fake cum, and just drench these poor girls, can go kick fucking rocks.  There’s no real part of it.. the reality of a cum shot is half the fucking magic..  Am I supposed to get off to that?  No thanks, not what I signed up for. I thought the point of POV was so that I could pretend it was me.. but I can’t do that if this poor girl is staring down a 14 incher, filled with loads of fake cum. If I wanted to see that I’d just fill a garden hose with heavy cream, and just turn that shit on unsuspecting girls.. and don’t even get me started on Ron Jeremy, it’s about time he hung his cleats up.. I’d almost rather watch Danny DeVito slam chicks than that guy.  I wanna write up a petition to stop this shit.

vs.

p.s. those orange/red crocs at 0:43 are so Ron Jeremy.

p.p.s. who the fuck is Mancow? Has to be the worst name for a radio personality.

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