China On The Cutting Edge Yet Again With These Floorplan Models 8/13/2013

NO real estate marketing is too extreme in China, where models have their bodies painted with floor plans to sell properties.

Forget banners, real estate sites and social media to sell a house or unit, these human billboards are the latest way to advertise bricks and mortar throughout Chine. Housing fairs such as this one at Century Square in Jilin city are popular with potential home buyers throughout the country, and body paint marketing was devised as a way to stand out from the scores of participating real estate developers. Exhibitors have come up with other unusual ways to attract customers at the fairs, including models giving away bars of gold and others scantily clad in flowers, according to ChinaDaily. Anything goes as long as it draws a crowd of would-be buyers.  China has one of the highest rates of home ownership in the world, with the traditional view that the house you live in ought to be your own. And now the country’s middle class is investing so much in property the government has enforced a one apartment rule. China is building new cities at an estimated rate of up to 12 to 24 a year – but while they are full of brand new homes and facilities, many are empty.  A CBS 60 Minutes report in the US earlier this year exposed dozens of new cities in China sitting empty – with the apartments snapped up as investments by the nation’s wealthy, then sitting empty as the owners fail to find tenants who can meet the rent.  Financial experts fear the ghost town explosion will lead to a housing bubble.

Bars of gold?? Ghost towns?? Geishas?? China you’ve outdone yourself.

But look if we’re being completely honest, great idea, poor execution.  I wish I was a fly on the wall when these Chinese developers decided, after much deliberation, that this was their master plan, that body painting floor plans on women in ball gowns and giving away bars of gold was the key to selling houses.  They have one thing right though, women sell.  Sex sells.  It’s science, plain and simple.  They probably sold more property than they did before when they were using ancient tools like paper and photographs.

Whats the difference between millions and billions in the Chinese real estate game? Execution.  Let’s talk logistics. The floor plans look like they were drawn by a high school sophomore rushing to complete a homework assignment for his architecture elective 10 minutes before class.  Do better.  Don’t boast about your technological prowess, then half ass a body paint job, guys.  It doesn’t look good.

And the back has got to be the worst place for a floor plan.  If I’m looking at the back of a model, the floor plans better be on the ass, underneath a whale tale, maybe with a room extension on the upper thigh.  If not, midriff all day everyday.  It’s flat (optimal floor plan painting surface), sexy, plus don’t boobs and oriental faces sell houses?

Those dresses aren’t doing much for my boner right now either. Ball gowns?  I’m not trying to have a good, quiet, candle lit dinner with my floor plans, not trying to bring my floor plans to prom, and kiss my floor plans at the door like a gentleman.  I’m trying to get horny enough to not care about slipping 1 billion yen into that floor plan’s g-string, taking that floor plan upstairs, and owning that floor plan.

I’d also say that when you’re building 12-24 new cities per year, ghost towns are becoming a legitimate fear, and you’re giving out bars of gold, maybe you should slow down.  But no, keep doing you Asia, too fun to watch.